To VBAC or not to VBAC....

Has anyone out there actually had a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean)? Let's just say my hopes of having a somewhat natural birth were shattered when I had my first in 2004. I had to have an emergency C-Section because I had developed severe Pre-Eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. They took me in to be induced at 10 pm the night before and since my plateletes were dropping so fast and I hadn't progressed past a 1 1/2 they put my to sleep and cut me open at 9:29 am. Needless to say I was a little disappointed but I understood because I was on the verge of death....

Now almost 5 years later I am pregnant again and when I went to my first OB appointment I had to see the Nurse Practitioner. She just casually mentions that since I had a C-Section before that they will schedule me for another a week before my due date and take it then. You read and hear about VBAC's all the time and in fact we studied them in nursing school. There is a small risk of uterine rupture with a VBAC. one website said it was 5 in every 1000 who attempted and another site said 27 in 10,000 attempted will rupture and 1.4 in 10,000 will end in fetal death. That is a small chance, there is a small chance of something happening with C-section even... nothing is guaranteed. The risk of rupture does increase though if cytotec is used to start or strengthen labor. I'm aware of the risks associated with it but there are risks also to the mom if a C-section is performed and the recovery isn't as smooth. I was in the hospital for 4 nights and I wasn't up and around even at the house for about 2 weeks after delivery.

Here's my argument. Most doctors want to do a repeat C-section because it is just more convenient for everyone... That is fine schedule me for a week before my due date to do it, but if I actually go into labor on my own, just let me do it and monitor me. I'm not saying induce me, we all see I didn't progress before, of course when they gave me the stuff to soften my cervix it hyperstimulated my uterus and I was having contractions every minute. The do say pitocin has rarely been linked to increasing the risk of uterine rupture. So augmenting your labor once it starts is OK. I've done my research. Who knows I may not even go into labor on my own but I really would like to do it naturally even with a few pain shots....

I feel like I missed out on the experience and I want to be able to bond with my little one sooner and not be in a daze for days. They had me on so many drugs that I don't remember much of the first few days. I wasn't able to see my daughter and hold her for at least 7 hours after she was born and I really don't remember. People that came to visit, I thought had never been there and asked why they didn't come. You might think I'm crazier than what you already do but I actually thought I had a baby still inside of me afterwards because I was so out of it and I had horrific pain in my abdomen because there was trapped gas. It felt like the baby was trying to kick it's way out when in fact there was nothing but trapped gas in there. I actually thought my daughter wasn't mine because she was so tiny and premie looking at only 4 lbs. 9 oz. I was only 2 1/2 weeks early and they thought the baby would be about 6 lbs. from the ultrasound but BOY was someone wrong. In my delirium I thought someone had mixed up the babies too! Glad I didn't push that issue, I would of looked crazy.

Overall I had a bad first birthing experience and most of the day nurses were horrible.... Most acted like I was an inconvenience which was not right. The night nurses however were great, they would bring me midnight snacks :) The one nurse that really got me though was the next day when she brought the baby in to start breastfeeding. She should have realized that I was still on certain meds like morphine and even Mag Sulfate and in fact you have to be off the Mag at least 24 hours before feeding because they don't want them to get too sleepy and out of it like I was. I am just so grateful the baby didn't want to feed, I think she intuitively knew (she's a genius) even at the ripe age of 1 day. I knew no better at the time so I just went with the nurse trying to feed. Later I found out when they brought the pump to me so I could try to produce until I was able to actually feed. Stupid Nurses. I think that is what actually drove me to go to Nursing School because I thought I could do better. I thought I could make a difference. Little did I know that one semester shy (already finished 3 out of 4) of graduating I would leave the program but I finally determined it wasn't for me. I did highly excel in OB/Maternity and the Reproduction part. That was the most part I was interested in. I've always wanted to be a nurse at the OB clinic. I can still get my LPN license though because I finished 3 semsters who knows I may decide to go for it. I would need to refresh a little though. Or maybe I could start as a PCA initially to see how I like it.

goodies giveaways...

I have found all of these great blogs that do giveaways... They are giving away amazing things for both mom and baby.... some from shoes to designer diaper bags, to tutus, to $1400 crib bedding sets... I have been in awe at home many great giveaways that I have ran across today and entered. Most of them I have found through Blog of Goodies... I have links to most of them on the side if you want to check them out. I figured since my luck was up in winning the free blog design makeover then I might as well try at other things I really need.

I honestly sold most of the baby stuff I had from my first except most of the clothes I loved because we had a feeling we would have another girl next time. Everyone seems to think it's a boy this time. We really want a boy but we would have to buy ALL new clothes and different color stuff. The only thing I honestly have left is the crib bedding and a cheap swing. I got rid of the crib because it was cheaply made and breaking down, I knew once it went into storage that was it so I sold it at a yardsale to someone who really needed it. I got rid of the stroller/carrier set because the stroller had been left outside and I wouldn't trust it with my next newborn even if I still had the carrier clean and all, it went to some needy mommy to be at a past yardsale too. I gave the cradle back to my sister in law because she was having another, she did give it to me to use afterall. I really wish I had a bassinette this time, but my cousin gave it to her neice who was expecting. We really can't afford to go out and buy all new stuff again. I'm okay with hand me downs but it seems all are already spoken for. :( I even got rid of my changing table because after we got it and used it I noticed it wasn't really made for me, I'm more comfortable with putting the baby head to the left but it was open ended that way.... I know I was picky... when I pick my child up and lay her down, her head is usually always on my left side so that is the way I naturally want to lay them down... I actually get a little frustrated when people hand a baby to me the other way because I am just not comfortable with that arm, and I don't want to toss the baby around from side to side just because I'm not comfy.

A few months ago I ran into a website forum called FreeCycle and people from your area post things they want to just giveaway instead of taking to the dump because they don't need these things anymore and have no place to house them most of the time. I have seen several things I may need but I'm just never the first to reply.... poor poor pitiful me :( I was able to give to a pregnant girl once... she needed some larger maternity shirts and I just happened to have a few that I didn't need at the time and I was hoping to never get that big again... (wishful thinking on my behalf) she gratefully sent a couple smaller maternity clothes my way that she knew she could never fit in because I had mentioned that we were trying to have another.... Has anyone else ever donated or received things through the FreeCycle Network.???

My Stephen King Moment

Have you ever had a Stephen King moment where you just feel eerie? This week is Spring Break here at the University and there are only a hand full of people working, mostly staff who hasn't decided to take vacation this week. There are no faculty and no students whatsoever. I had to walk across campus earlier to do something and I swear there was not anyone out. To top it off the clock tower was making some weird winding up sound that made it even more eerie. I could only hear it on a certain side of the clock tower but still all around that side of the campus. Once I walk to the west of the tower the noise was gone, even as I was standing right next to it. With the campus being quiet as can be on one side and a weirdly noise on the other, along with the lack of people around, I seriously started having that Stephen King moment. Specifically from the movie
The Langoliers

Here's a little blurb about the movie. If you've ever seen it, you know what I'm talking about. It seemed as if noone was around or even ever existed because time has stood still.

When a plane passes through a mysterious time warp, all but a few onboard vanish. The survivors manage to land, and discover that time seems to stand still--and the mysterious Langoliers are in hot pursuit. The Langoliers' job is to erase moments in time that have already passed into history. The survivors still exist because they were asleep when the plane passed through the warp, and they determine that if they can all be asleep once again when the plane returns, they will survive. However, one passenger must remain awake--and doomed to die--to pilot the plane on its return through the warp...

Who know's maybe it's just my hormones and my pregnant mind that is causing me to think irrational. I'm usually a pretty sane person in real life (I always feel like I'm living in a fantasy world now especially since I have vivid dreams and feel like they are reality). If I told you all of the dreams I have been having you would think I was crazy and deranged. I wake up feeling like I'm going to cry and sometimes have even woke my husband up because I was having a nightmare and started screaming. I usually don't remember what I dream but for some reason these vivid dreams are stuck in my mind. Maybe I need to lay off watching scary movies or even CSI for awhile. I feel like it really is reality sometimes. Has anyone else had these weird dreams or even these Stephen King moments?

What's going on with the little one...

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Modern Pirate Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

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BUY...HOST...JOIN

Visit my site at www.scentsy.com/2546 to check out the opportunities to either get free and half priced products or join my wonderful team...

MARCH Specials...

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Suffocating Insomniac...

I'm up tonight and can't sleep because I am soooo miserable. I know no one wants to hear a whinner, so if you're reading this I'm sorry! This is just my place to vent. I honestly think I'm sicker than when I went to the doctor Sunday and I have been on antibiotics for almost 2 days... shouldn't I feel somewhat better? My sinuses are now impacted to the point my face and teeth and jaws hurt. OY! Also both of my ears are hurting like the dickens. I think maybe I need to call my primary care doctor in the morning to see if I can get in... even if it is just to get some ear drops to help sooth my oh so achy ears. Being pregnant I can't take the same things as everyone else when they are sick... seems like I have to just suffer, but I am taking Sudafed PE because Sudafed was on my list of meds I could take during pregnancy but it seems to not be working at all.... I'm also taking Tylenol to help take some of the pain away along with the low grade fever I'm still running but I don't know how that's working as far as the pain. Plus I'm taking the amoxicillin for antibiotics which I have to take for 10 days.

I seriously feel like I'm going to suffocate. When I'm pregnant anyway I always feel panicy if I feel I can't sleep... it's weird so It's magnified by like 10 since I really am stopped up and can't breathe. Maybe that is why I can't breathe. I fell asleep for just a few minutes when I laid down tonight and I woke up choking on my own saliva I guess you could say. That is just freaky.... from then on I couldn't keep from hacking the rest of the night so I just got up so I wouldn't wake up the hubby since he has to work in the morning... I'm supposed to go back tomorrow but I feel worse than yesterday when I had to miss. Looks like I will be missing again. Let's just say that the hot compresses on the face are not working and neither are the cough drops, in fact the drops make it feel worse and brings my attention more on my throat.

These sneezing fits have to go... I counted earlier and I honestly sneezed like 10 times in a row. I couldn't contain myself especially since I got extremely light-headed and felt like I was going to pee on myself. I found myself several times making a dash for the bathroom even though my bladder was pretty empty I didn't want to chance peeing on myself. Why is it that after we have kids are bladders are much weaker than pre-preggo? When I was a kid I laughed at my mom everytime she crossed her legs to sneeze or if she did actually pee on herself during the fact. I guess it is just karma coming back to bite me in the ass. Anyways I had to actually have my mom-in-law take me to the pharmacy this afternoon because I was afraid to drive fearing that I would have some of those sneeze attacks on the road and I would get into an accident. Guess I should get off here and see if there is anything else that will make me extremely drowsy so I can get some sleep tonight, even if it is just for an hour or so. I think I will pick a book up and start reading. Everytime I tried to read for college for an assignment it seems to always do the trick and I would fall asleep in no time and never get read what I needed.

When will I feel great again?

I haven't been sick in years aside from the occasional stomach ache and stuffy nose but it usually doesn't go beyond that. Now that I am pregnant it all hits me. I don't ever remember having strep throat EVER in my life but I have it now. My daughter has been sick so I know she gave it to me even though her strep test came by negative last week. I think the nurse just doesn't swab her throat good enough to test.... it has happened twice. I spent about 2 hours today at the walk-in... I guess it was worth it because I really needed antibiotics. It was weird because it just hit me all of a sudden, I woke up Friday with a little sore throat and the start of a cough. When I woke up yesterday I was miserable. My throat burns like the dickens and it hurts all the way down to my chest when I cough. The doctor said my lungs sound good but when I cough sometimes it actually sounds croupy like a kids barking cough.... When will I just feel good? I have been in pain pretty much throughout this whole pregnancy and I am 9 1/2 weeks along. I am having to miss work again tomorrow because I had a fever today and I have to be fever-free and on antibiotics for at least 24 hours before exposing others because I am contagious. I feel bad because I have had to miss a lot of work for all of my frequent OB appointments and because I had to stay home because of the bleeding recently. I hope they don't eventually let me go at work because I have only been there 4 1/2 months so I'm still pretty much on probation since I'm still being evaluated. I really need the secondary insurance so the whole thing will be paid for and this baby won't put us in debt. Either way the baby is worth it but it's better to not have to worry about money... Know what I mean?

I'm a WINNER!

I'm so excited because I just got online and checked my email after 2 or 3 days and I won a free blog design from Sweet Cheeky Designs. She was doing a giveaway on Baby Blog Addict... check it out for other giveaways http://www.babyblogaddict.com/ Also be sure to check out Sweet Cheeky Designs to see her porfolio and to customize a blog of your own http://sweetcheekydesigns.blogspot.com/ She on Spring Break this next week so It'll be a few weeks until I may get to show off my new blog.... CAN'T WAIT
Thanks to everyone that gave me the chance to win.

Hip-T Giveaway

Hip-T is the answer to a lot of our prayers. check out their website at http://www.myhip-t.com/ This product is the best thing that has came out in awhile. I love the layered look but it just gets too bulky and hot. They are giving one lucky winner a Hip-T product in the color of your choice. Here's a little info from their website:

The Problem:

An Unwanted game of thong peek-a-boo! Bending over at work and showing your boss the green polka-dot thong you're wearing is definitely not the way to get that promotion you've been hoping for!

The Plumber's crack Ladies, let's leave this one to the professionals.

The Dreaded "Muffin Top" No one wants a muffin top - unless it's blueberry!

The Solution:
Hip-T

How do you win? Visit this blog http://frugalmommyof2girls.blogspot.com/ and from there visit the Hip-T website to see the products. Go back to the blog above and leave a comment as to which color and style you like the most. Read about other ways to get more entries.

Home Bound

Home, Home, Home... I've decided to stay home today from work. I was all ready for work and everything though when I realized I was bleeding again. It wasn't that bad and was less than before but any red blood is kind of scary. I was using the restroom of course when I noticed it and I'm wondering if that is what caused it. I'm thinking it shouldn't normally cause it because every pregnant woman poops right?. A little normal straining shouldn't make that happen. What do you think? I don't think I'm going to call the doctor though because it's not much and it's already pretty much gone, plus I was just there 2 days ago and everything was fine. In addition to that my left leg is killing me. I guess I have some kind of cramp in my inside calf that just won't go away this morning. I'm trying to drink water thinking I may just be a little dehydrated but all I know is it really hurts to walk, I catch myself limping. My daughter didn't have school today either so instead of taking her to my mother-in-laws and going to work I just decided to stay home with her and relax. Although I don't know if I can relax too much because she's being a brat because she didn't get to go to grandmas today. She's definitely my drama queen!

Repeat...

I had an appointment yesterday for the repeat ultrasound and it went great. I was able to see the little one and their heart flutter. Although at first I didn't notice the flutter and they clicked on it to hear the sounds and nothing happen... I immediately gasped and thought about this A-Hole of a driver yesterday who comes into my lane without turning on his blinker with his little truck and small bass boat. Or course I was right next to the boat so it scared the crap out of me. I slammed on my brakes and I probably left some tracks because everything flew towards the front of my car and into the floorboard. I don't think the seat belt tightened on my stomach but I tensed up and for the rest of the day my back and abdomen was sore. I was going to kill him if something happened. Anyways he threw his hands up in the air like it was my fault so when I passed him I flipped him the bird. I normally don't do that but my heart was racing so much I thought I was going to be sick.

They found the heart flutter and heart sounds on the next try and I was relieved. I was actually in and out of there in less than 10 minutes, more like 5 actually and I only had to wait in the waiting room for like 5 minutes too. I think that is the speediest Dr. appt. I have ever had. They looked at the cysts again and the one on the left has grown in only a week or two, about a 1/2 a cenitmeter, I haven't really talked to my doctor about it much since I haven't even had my NEW OB appt. yet but if it continues to grow too big during the pregnancy they are going to have to remove it laproscopically. I'm sure she hopes to hold off until delivery when the C-Section will be done and take it out then but I don't think it will wait. Plus I was hoping to have a VBAC this time. I feel like I missed out on the experience the first time when I had an emergency C-Section with my first. My new OB appt. is on the 17th or March so I will update after that regarding my little one... I should be 8 weeks tomorrow. My how time flies.

Reassurance...

So I woke up Friday Morning and had some bleeding. It kind of scared me so I called the Doctors office first thing when they opened because they had told me if my pain got worse or if I started bleeding that I needed to let them know. They wanted me to come in for an ultrasound... The ultrasound was reassuring because we actually seen the yolk sac and embryo and even seen the heart flutter. That made me feel better. But my cyst was still just as large and I actually had a smaller one on the other side. I guess I just overdid it the last few days before. I have been having to walk a lot more because I have been doing inventory at work and had to search for things along with walk across the campus to get and return the scanner everyday. Plus me and my hubby had a little fun the night before. It's never bothered me before but I guess since I have been not taking it so easy, the two made it worse. So the doctor told me to take it easy for the rest of the day and not go back to work and relax during the weekend. She gave me a restriction my hubby wasn't too fond of.... NO sex for at least 2 weeks until I haven't been bleeding. She wanted me to come back on Wednesday the 11th for a repeat ultrasound. Plus I have my New OB appointment on the 17th... I will be there everyweek for awhile and then hopefully it will spread out, even though I'm considered high risk from my last pregnancy I had severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. At least we know what to watch for now....