To VBAC or not to VBAC....

Has anyone out there actually had a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean)? Let's just say my hopes of having a somewhat natural birth were shattered when I had my first in 2004. I had to have an emergency C-Section because I had developed severe Pre-Eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. They took me in to be induced at 10 pm the night before and since my plateletes were dropping so fast and I hadn't progressed past a 1 1/2 they put my to sleep and cut me open at 9:29 am. Needless to say I was a little disappointed but I understood because I was on the verge of death....

Now almost 5 years later I am pregnant again and when I went to my first OB appointment I had to see the Nurse Practitioner. She just casually mentions that since I had a C-Section before that they will schedule me for another a week before my due date and take it then. You read and hear about VBAC's all the time and in fact we studied them in nursing school. There is a small risk of uterine rupture with a VBAC. one website said it was 5 in every 1000 who attempted and another site said 27 in 10,000 attempted will rupture and 1.4 in 10,000 will end in fetal death. That is a small chance, there is a small chance of something happening with C-section even... nothing is guaranteed. The risk of rupture does increase though if cytotec is used to start or strengthen labor. I'm aware of the risks associated with it but there are risks also to the mom if a C-section is performed and the recovery isn't as smooth. I was in the hospital for 4 nights and I wasn't up and around even at the house for about 2 weeks after delivery.

Here's my argument. Most doctors want to do a repeat C-section because it is just more convenient for everyone... That is fine schedule me for a week before my due date to do it, but if I actually go into labor on my own, just let me do it and monitor me. I'm not saying induce me, we all see I didn't progress before, of course when they gave me the stuff to soften my cervix it hyperstimulated my uterus and I was having contractions every minute. The do say pitocin has rarely been linked to increasing the risk of uterine rupture. So augmenting your labor once it starts is OK. I've done my research. Who knows I may not even go into labor on my own but I really would like to do it naturally even with a few pain shots....

I feel like I missed out on the experience and I want to be able to bond with my little one sooner and not be in a daze for days. They had me on so many drugs that I don't remember much of the first few days. I wasn't able to see my daughter and hold her for at least 7 hours after she was born and I really don't remember. People that came to visit, I thought had never been there and asked why they didn't come. You might think I'm crazier than what you already do but I actually thought I had a baby still inside of me afterwards because I was so out of it and I had horrific pain in my abdomen because there was trapped gas. It felt like the baby was trying to kick it's way out when in fact there was nothing but trapped gas in there. I actually thought my daughter wasn't mine because she was so tiny and premie looking at only 4 lbs. 9 oz. I was only 2 1/2 weeks early and they thought the baby would be about 6 lbs. from the ultrasound but BOY was someone wrong. In my delirium I thought someone had mixed up the babies too! Glad I didn't push that issue, I would of looked crazy.

Overall I had a bad first birthing experience and most of the day nurses were horrible.... Most acted like I was an inconvenience which was not right. The night nurses however were great, they would bring me midnight snacks :) The one nurse that really got me though was the next day when she brought the baby in to start breastfeeding. She should have realized that I was still on certain meds like morphine and even Mag Sulfate and in fact you have to be off the Mag at least 24 hours before feeding because they don't want them to get too sleepy and out of it like I was. I am just so grateful the baby didn't want to feed, I think she intuitively knew (she's a genius) even at the ripe age of 1 day. I knew no better at the time so I just went with the nurse trying to feed. Later I found out when they brought the pump to me so I could try to produce until I was able to actually feed. Stupid Nurses. I think that is what actually drove me to go to Nursing School because I thought I could do better. I thought I could make a difference. Little did I know that one semester shy (already finished 3 out of 4) of graduating I would leave the program but I finally determined it wasn't for me. I did highly excel in OB/Maternity and the Reproduction part. That was the most part I was interested in. I've always wanted to be a nurse at the OB clinic. I can still get my LPN license though because I finished 3 semsters who knows I may decide to go for it. I would need to refresh a little though. Or maybe I could start as a PCA initially to see how I like it.

goodies giveaways...

I have found all of these great blogs that do giveaways... They are giving away amazing things for both mom and baby.... some from shoes to designer diaper bags, to tutus, to $1400 crib bedding sets... I have been in awe at home many great giveaways that I have ran across today and entered. Most of them I have found through Blog of Goodies... I have links to most of them on the side if you want to check them out. I figured since my luck was up in winning the free blog design makeover then I might as well try at other things I really need.

I honestly sold most of the baby stuff I had from my first except most of the clothes I loved because we had a feeling we would have another girl next time. Everyone seems to think it's a boy this time. We really want a boy but we would have to buy ALL new clothes and different color stuff. The only thing I honestly have left is the crib bedding and a cheap swing. I got rid of the crib because it was cheaply made and breaking down, I knew once it went into storage that was it so I sold it at a yardsale to someone who really needed it. I got rid of the stroller/carrier set because the stroller had been left outside and I wouldn't trust it with my next newborn even if I still had the carrier clean and all, it went to some needy mommy to be at a past yardsale too. I gave the cradle back to my sister in law because she was having another, she did give it to me to use afterall. I really wish I had a bassinette this time, but my cousin gave it to her neice who was expecting. We really can't afford to go out and buy all new stuff again. I'm okay with hand me downs but it seems all are already spoken for. :( I even got rid of my changing table because after we got it and used it I noticed it wasn't really made for me, I'm more comfortable with putting the baby head to the left but it was open ended that way.... I know I was picky... when I pick my child up and lay her down, her head is usually always on my left side so that is the way I naturally want to lay them down... I actually get a little frustrated when people hand a baby to me the other way because I am just not comfortable with that arm, and I don't want to toss the baby around from side to side just because I'm not comfy.

A few months ago I ran into a website forum called FreeCycle and people from your area post things they want to just giveaway instead of taking to the dump because they don't need these things anymore and have no place to house them most of the time. I have seen several things I may need but I'm just never the first to reply.... poor poor pitiful me :( I was able to give to a pregnant girl once... she needed some larger maternity shirts and I just happened to have a few that I didn't need at the time and I was hoping to never get that big again... (wishful thinking on my behalf) she gratefully sent a couple smaller maternity clothes my way that she knew she could never fit in because I had mentioned that we were trying to have another.... Has anyone else ever donated or received things through the FreeCycle Network.???

My Stephen King Moment

Have you ever had a Stephen King moment where you just feel eerie? This week is Spring Break here at the University and there are only a hand full of people working, mostly staff who hasn't decided to take vacation this week. There are no faculty and no students whatsoever. I had to walk across campus earlier to do something and I swear there was not anyone out. To top it off the clock tower was making some weird winding up sound that made it even more eerie. I could only hear it on a certain side of the clock tower but still all around that side of the campus. Once I walk to the west of the tower the noise was gone, even as I was standing right next to it. With the campus being quiet as can be on one side and a weirdly noise on the other, along with the lack of people around, I seriously started having that Stephen King moment. Specifically from the movie
The Langoliers

Here's a little blurb about the movie. If you've ever seen it, you know what I'm talking about. It seemed as if noone was around or even ever existed because time has stood still.

When a plane passes through a mysterious time warp, all but a few onboard vanish. The survivors manage to land, and discover that time seems to stand still--and the mysterious Langoliers are in hot pursuit. The Langoliers' job is to erase moments in time that have already passed into history. The survivors still exist because they were asleep when the plane passed through the warp, and they determine that if they can all be asleep once again when the plane returns, they will survive. However, one passenger must remain awake--and doomed to die--to pilot the plane on its return through the warp...

Who know's maybe it's just my hormones and my pregnant mind that is causing me to think irrational. I'm usually a pretty sane person in real life (I always feel like I'm living in a fantasy world now especially since I have vivid dreams and feel like they are reality). If I told you all of the dreams I have been having you would think I was crazy and deranged. I wake up feeling like I'm going to cry and sometimes have even woke my husband up because I was having a nightmare and started screaming. I usually don't remember what I dream but for some reason these vivid dreams are stuck in my mind. Maybe I need to lay off watching scary movies or even CSI for awhile. I feel like it really is reality sometimes. Has anyone else had these weird dreams or even these Stephen King moments?

What's going on with the little one...

Modern Pirate Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Modern Pirate Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Visit Grosgrain's blog above for this awesome giveaway. What better way than for your child to use their imagination when playing dress up... RRRRR!

BUY...HOST...JOIN

Visit my site at www.scentsy.com/2546 to check out the opportunities to either get free and half priced products or join my wonderful team...

MARCH Specials...

Visit my website at www.scentsy.com/2546 to view all of our new products for Spring/Summer and to take advantage of our Scent of the Month and Warmer of the month for March.... or whatever other products that you fancy!