So my husband and I decided it was time for me to stay at home again so I gave my 2 week's notice at work today. We have been trying to get to a point where I could quit anyway but we were hoping that I could work up till when I had the baby so I could have my 2nd insurance to cover the complete medical bills that I would incur. It really didn't work out as lovely as we had first planned. Here's how it all kinda started:
You see my mother in law watches my little girl everyday. Don't get me wrong I love my MIL and all but ever since school has let out and she has to keep her all day all week it seems like she started slacking in the caretaking ability. The first thing that bothered me was she was coming home EVERYDAY all banged up and damaged. She said she fell one day but she came home with a fat lip and it was purple and black all under the top lip and was fat for 2 days. When it first happened she didn't even know she hit it. Evidently she wasn't watching her very good to know it and why did it even happen in the first place. I don't like the idea of her playing outside by herself for extended periods of time without supervision. She said she checks on her about every 10 or 15 minutes but that is too long for me when she is just 4 and not fenced in... there are perverts in this world and who could snatch her up in a minute flat. I guess I think the worse but I am and have been real protective of her always and she has never got banged up like that in my supervision. She said kids get cuts and bruises... that was her defense.
I left yesterday morning and asked her to make sure she gets a bath and make sure she washes her hair and body.... specifically I asked those things. You see since it's the summer she'd rather take a shower or bath in the morning like mommy and daddy so that is why I never get a chance to do it, because I'm at work when she gets up. Well when I got home yesterday evening the shampoo wasn't in the tub and I knew she had a bath. I asked her did you not wash her hair and she said No. I flipped out... who considers a bath of just sitting in water not washing hair and body a bath? That's more like swimming and playing. Every now and then skipping a bath might be okay but she has a very sensitive area and if you don't wash it everyday it gets VERY irritated from pee and such. She has told me a few times that Grandma forgot to give her a bath... I kind of blew it off until now. I just feel like I'm the only one who can take care of her properly. She doesn't make sure she is fed right either. I hear about all the junk she eats and how she really didn't eat good that day... well I wonder why. You need to put your foot down as a caregiver and say no to things sometime and make deals with the kid, that is what we have to do.
And I asked Athena if she wanted mama to stay home everyday with her and not go to work and she said YES... so that just melted my heart. I balled because I was so upset about her well being yesterday so my husband finally put his foot down and told me to give my notice and quit. He looked at the bills and they are definitely going to be tight for awhile, at least until he is able to get his raise after the first of the year when the freeze is up. I'm hoping that now that I can spend most of my time with my photography business that it will take off and help us out with the bills, or at least buy us food. I have recently started a myspace photography site until I can actually afford to get a real webpage. It is www.myspace.com/wendyclabornphotography so check it out if you're bored. I'm also hoping that the band my husband is trying to get together will take off and start making money soon. I offered to promote the band and try to book some of their gigs when they got a little tighter as a band once they knew all of the singer's songs. I'd get anywhere from 5-10% of the booking if I booked the show so that would help too.
WISH ME LUCK!
BTW... yesterday was my 7 year wedding anniversary and it sucked. It was extremely hot at work because the AC wasn't working right and I come home and have to cook and deal with the MIL drama. My eyes were still dry, irritated and swollen today from crying the night before. What an anniversary, and to top it off I didn't get any lovin' :(
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2 comments:
Totally agree with you about not letting Athena play outside for any length of time by herself. We don't allow that with Mara either unless she is in a privacy fenced yard so no one can see her play and get any ideas. It does not take long for someone to snatch up a kid. Seconds really!!! There have been so many stories out there like that where a parent had only turned their back for a few seconds and there kid was gone for good. And this happens in small towns too!
It also makes me angry when other people decide what is best for your child. My mom is totally like that. She is too afraid to say no to Mara and if Mara won't eat something healthy, my mom thinks junk is a perfect replacement. No matter what I tell my mom either, she won't change her ways. She is the one reason why Mara is such a picky eater. When we lived with my mom for those two years, she was always undermining our authority. If Mara wouldn't eat her dinner because "she didn't like it" and we told her that that was the only thing she would be able to eat that night, my mom would go behind our backs and give her candy and junk. That is the main reason why we moved out! Mara is so hard headed that it has been really hard to get her to change!!!
Good luck with you and good for you for sticking up for your family values!!!
You are completely in the RIGHT by staying home. And whether your MIL is free or not, I'd find someone else to watch the children should you return to work later.
There's NO EXCUSE for letting a 4 yr old play outside alone. My 4 yr old is not even allowed to play in our fenced-in backyard without me supervising.
And the baths?! Seriously?!
Good call! Hope you guys have a great summer together!
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