To VBAC or not to VBAC....

Has anyone out there actually had a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean)? Let's just say my hopes of having a somewhat natural birth were shattered when I had my first in 2004. I had to have an emergency C-Section because I had developed severe Pre-Eclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. They took me in to be induced at 10 pm the night before and since my plateletes were dropping so fast and I hadn't progressed past a 1 1/2 they put my to sleep and cut me open at 9:29 am. Needless to say I was a little disappointed but I understood because I was on the verge of death....

Now almost 5 years later I am pregnant again and when I went to my first OB appointment I had to see the Nurse Practitioner. She just casually mentions that since I had a C-Section before that they will schedule me for another a week before my due date and take it then. You read and hear about VBAC's all the time and in fact we studied them in nursing school. There is a small risk of uterine rupture with a VBAC. one website said it was 5 in every 1000 who attempted and another site said 27 in 10,000 attempted will rupture and 1.4 in 10,000 will end in fetal death. That is a small chance, there is a small chance of something happening with C-section even... nothing is guaranteed. The risk of rupture does increase though if cytotec is used to start or strengthen labor. I'm aware of the risks associated with it but there are risks also to the mom if a C-section is performed and the recovery isn't as smooth. I was in the hospital for 4 nights and I wasn't up and around even at the house for about 2 weeks after delivery.

Here's my argument. Most doctors want to do a repeat C-section because it is just more convenient for everyone... That is fine schedule me for a week before my due date to do it, but if I actually go into labor on my own, just let me do it and monitor me. I'm not saying induce me, we all see I didn't progress before, of course when they gave me the stuff to soften my cervix it hyperstimulated my uterus and I was having contractions every minute. The do say pitocin has rarely been linked to increasing the risk of uterine rupture. So augmenting your labor once it starts is OK. I've done my research. Who knows I may not even go into labor on my own but I really would like to do it naturally even with a few pain shots....

I feel like I missed out on the experience and I want to be able to bond with my little one sooner and not be in a daze for days. They had me on so many drugs that I don't remember much of the first few days. I wasn't able to see my daughter and hold her for at least 7 hours after she was born and I really don't remember. People that came to visit, I thought had never been there and asked why they didn't come. You might think I'm crazier than what you already do but I actually thought I had a baby still inside of me afterwards because I was so out of it and I had horrific pain in my abdomen because there was trapped gas. It felt like the baby was trying to kick it's way out when in fact there was nothing but trapped gas in there. I actually thought my daughter wasn't mine because she was so tiny and premie looking at only 4 lbs. 9 oz. I was only 2 1/2 weeks early and they thought the baby would be about 6 lbs. from the ultrasound but BOY was someone wrong. In my delirium I thought someone had mixed up the babies too! Glad I didn't push that issue, I would of looked crazy.

Overall I had a bad first birthing experience and most of the day nurses were horrible.... Most acted like I was an inconvenience which was not right. The night nurses however were great, they would bring me midnight snacks :) The one nurse that really got me though was the next day when she brought the baby in to start breastfeeding. She should have realized that I was still on certain meds like morphine and even Mag Sulfate and in fact you have to be off the Mag at least 24 hours before feeding because they don't want them to get too sleepy and out of it like I was. I am just so grateful the baby didn't want to feed, I think she intuitively knew (she's a genius) even at the ripe age of 1 day. I knew no better at the time so I just went with the nurse trying to feed. Later I found out when they brought the pump to me so I could try to produce until I was able to actually feed. Stupid Nurses. I think that is what actually drove me to go to Nursing School because I thought I could do better. I thought I could make a difference. Little did I know that one semester shy (already finished 3 out of 4) of graduating I would leave the program but I finally determined it wasn't for me. I did highly excel in OB/Maternity and the Reproduction part. That was the most part I was interested in. I've always wanted to be a nurse at the OB clinic. I can still get my LPN license though because I finished 3 semsters who knows I may decide to go for it. I would need to refresh a little though. Or maybe I could start as a PCA initially to see how I like it.