After the ultrasound...

So I'm airing out my dirty laundry and have plenty to tell...

Well I went to the Dr. Monday and they did another ultrasound. By my dates I should of been 5 weeks and 3 days but when she measured the sac she seen it said I was only 4 weeks and 5 days. But she still didn't see anything in the sac. That is still not very reassuring for me considering with a tubal you can still have a psuedosac in your uterus. I think she thought that it was still early and she told me she didn't think it was an ectopic. She measured my cyst and it was still big and ugly, measuring 4+ by 4+ by ? centimeters. No wonder why I've been hurting so much but my pain has eased up a bit but it still sucks. She said as long as I wasn't bleeding or the pain didn't get out of hand that she wanted me to come back in 2 weeks because we should finally be able to see the fetal pole and a heartbeat. When I got up to the desk to make an appointment she made it for March 17th and told me that was the earliest. Man that sucks because I won't get any for sure reassurance for another 4 weeks.

On top of all this my mom is flipping out over the whole deal. I had told my aunt the other day that I was pregnant but we still know for sure if everything was OK and she knew I hadn't told my mom yet. I wanted to wait to tell my mom until I knew for sure everything was OK. My mom and I really hadn't had a great relationship anyway for awhile, although we text about stuff every now and then. My aunt stopped by there Sunday to tell her about a gift she got and asked her if she had talked to me, and she said No, Why is she pregnant again? So now only a couple of days has gone by and she's pissed that I didn't tell her but I told other people, and she said she knows where she stands. I explained to her the situation but she kept trying to make me feel guilty and bad. I finally told her I didn't want any additional drama and she needed to quit trying to make me feel bad because it would do nothing but push me further away from her. The last text she said was Don't worry there won't be any drama from her because there won't be her around and that's the last words from her. I hope she's not stupid enough to OD or something. She's not in that great of health anyways and now that she is off probation I hear she went back to the drugs. If she does something stupid, then that is rotten because I will feel like its my fault. What am I to do because I am not going to kiss her ass to make her feel better, this is my life and she has already screwed up her relationship royally when we let her parole to our house, got her a car and she ended up going back to jail when she got pulled over because she had drugs in her purse. She knew that I did not allow that and she had to of brought it into my home where my daughter was (less than 2 years old at the time) and she loved going through purses..... now can you see why I still don't have that great of relationship with my mother!